Mothers

May 9, 2021

Jesus was minding his own business at a wedding, when his mother comes up and simply says, “They have no wine.” 

“Woman,” Jesus says, “what concern is that to you and to me? My hour has not yet come.” He has a point—it’s none of his business if someone hosts a wedding and doesn’t plan ahead well enough to order enough wine. “Count the cost,” Jesus will later teach us, “lest someone later comes walking by and mocks you for your half-built tower.” Or, we might add, lest a wedding guest gets half way through the meal and has an empty wine cup.

His mother is not very concerned about the wisdom or folly of the host. Insofar as it depends on her, the wedding is going to be a respectable affair. And she’s also not going to bandy about with words, arguing with her son about whether or not he should help. That’s not how mother/son relationships are supposed to work. “Not our wedding, not our problem,” Jesus says. Mary says nothing. She turns to the servants, “Do whatever he tells you.” She turns back to Jesus and says with a look, “and you will tell them something, now, won’t you?”

I’m not sure how mothers teach us. Certainly there’s not just one way. Teaching and learning happens in different ways with different people. Perhaps the way mothers teach us the most is through their example. I suspect Mary doesn’t really teach Jesus that it’s good to help even the foolish and unprepared at Cana—I suspect that’s a lesson he learned in part from her example in the 30 years growing up. Perhaps that’s why Mary didn’t feel the need to lecture Jesus; everything that needed said had been said (or shown) in the years prior.

At Cana we see the relationship between the Son of God and his mother. Even the Son of God gets pointed in the right direction from time to time. And even the Son of God honors his mother by listening. 

“Honor thy father and mother” is the first command with a promise, “that you should live long in the land.” In John 2, Jesus shows us that even he is not exempt. God used our parents to give us life, to care for us and protect us that we might achieve adulthood. In return, we are to honor them. They have wisdom to pass on to us, wisdom that can help us navigate life. We ignore that wisdom to our own peril.

Surely no one is perfect, not even mothers. But it is fitting to honor mothers out of gratitude for the life they gave us. It is fitting to honor mothers by learning from their good example, and learning to avoid the traps they fell into. May we thank God for our mothers this Mother’s Day, whether they be good, bad, or indifferent, and may we honor them by learning from their example. And calling them or sending them a card isn’t a bad idea, either.

—John Coffey